September 9, 2013

sean + bekah: putting a ring on it

This is the finale in a series of posts telling our "love story." The series begins with a prequel here.

After three and a half years of dating long distance, it was time to put an end to that era and finally move closer to Sean.

I had finally sucked it up and gotten an A.S. degree from the local community college in general studies. Not what I wanted, but it was something. And it was enough to transfer me to Bowie State University: a school in the town right next to Sean's!

The obligatory dorm room/school t-shirt selfie

It was so exciting to finally be in a position to see each other every day if we wanted to. On the other hand, I was a little worried: would he get tired of me? Would we get tired of each other? After three years of weekends only, this would be a change. If things didn't work out, I would be alone.

I felt ancient living on campus and finally having my "college experience" at 23. However, I loved it. I ended up choosing a major in Communications which was a perfect fit. I was in and out with honors in two years and so much more. Though I often feel bitter that I am one of many underemployed graduates, I am truly grateful for my BSU experience.

As it turned out, Sean and I were perfectly happy after the move; I'd had nothing to worry about. The only missing piece was marriage. After dating so long, my ring finger was definitely itching. We had both discussed marriage many times and our desire to get married to each other.

Sadly, we were broke. That's just how it was. It stank, but I dealt with it despite the desire, and worse, the Christians, well-meaning or not, who would constantly ask when the time was coming or why it hadn't, or straight up judged us for dating so long with no set wedding plans. It was frustrating and at times, devastating.

Sean is a volleyball nerd as mentioned in this series and throughout my blog (especially in the Newlywed Game). One experience he loved was the annual trip to nationals. The year I moved up to MD, he didn't have the funds to go. He managed to find them.

This irked me and I ended up doing something I thought I never would: I broke out the ultimatum. I know, it's not very romantic, but it wasn't your typical "marry me or else" ploy. It was a "pick your priorities" warning: the money spent on travel to nationals could have gone towards a rock. If he wanted to go again, fine,but there needed to be a ring on it. Otherwise I would take it that volleyball was his bigger priority.

Yeah, not romantic at all. Sorry. But it was the wake-me-up he needed. The reality is, if we kept waiting to "afford" being married, we STILL wouldn't be married even now. We just had to do it and make it work.

On black Friday, he went Christmas shopping. Among the gifts was a radiant-cut solitaire which was presented to me at dinner on December 5, 2008:

Showing it off at our engagement pics


my attempt at being an artsy ring photog...

And we all know that exactly a year and a half later, on June 5, 2010 (two weeks after my college graduation!), he put a second ring on it!



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7 comments :

  1. haha sometimes you just have to tell 'em how it is :)

    I definitely told Kevin often how "naked" my finger was! lol

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  2. Yay!!! I love happy endings haha Well I guess I need to try this whole ultimatum thing lol

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  3. So cute Bekah. I love how you were like lets be real. And the bit about your ring finger itching really cracked me up.

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  4. Great day to get engaged...it's also my birthday! :-)

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  5. Sometimes men just need to be told what's up, lol. So true about so many things - if you wait til you can afford it, you might be waiting forever! Beautiful ring though, he did a good job :)

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  6. The unfortunate part of this segment was she knew the day I bought the ring and she knew the day before I proposed.

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  7. aw I love this happy ending! Me and my boyfriend are in our second year of long distance dating. We try to see each other once a month, but that gets tough. Can't wait until we are living in the same city!

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